An Eternity of Darkness
by theyHAUNTme
Summary: It has been hours since I left my Bella, but it has seemed like an eternity. But because I love her, I must let her go.


**An Eternity of Darkness**

**Disclaimer: **I'm not Stephenie Meyer, nor have I created the brilliant characters that she did.

**Summary:** It has been hours since I left my Bella, but it has seemed like an eternity. But because I love her, I must let her go.

**A/N:** Just a little something I whipped up while attempting to do my Science Fair project. Enjoy!

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I bent down to press my cold lips to Bella's forehead for the last time. '_The last time_.' Justing thinking the phrase hurt, even though she was still standing before me. The warmth of her skin made my lips tingle. I could hear the erratic beating of her heart as she panicked. She sucked in small gasps of air and she was trembling. My heart felt as if somebody was tearing it straight out of my body and filling the hole with acid. This - the pain of leaving her forever - hurt worse than anything I had ever experienced. It hurt worse than the burning of my transformation into a vampire.

I had to force myself away from her. I breathed in her scent and my throat burst into flames. This would be the last time I would smell her beautiful aroma, and it pained me. I clenched my fists to stop myself from reaching out to stroke her delicate cheek. But I knew I would never be able to leave once I touched her.

I yearned to hold her in my arms and tell her that I couldn't make myself leave. That I had just told her a plethora of lies. That she was my world and I couldn't bear to be away from her. That I loved her with all my heart. But doing that would put her in danger. I replayed the scene of her horrendous eighteenth birthday party. I could still see Jasper's teeth snapping inches from her beautiful face and I repressed a shudder. I had to leave in order to protect her. She needed a chance at a normal human life without any interference from any mythical being. But because I love her, I must let her go.

Before all of my plans crumbled, I turned and sprinted away as fast as I could. I could hear her gasping, sob-like breathing and it tore through me. I could hear her clumsily trying to follow. I could hear her choking my name out.

_No, Bella, no. Stay. Please. Stay here sweetheart._

I ran harder. Faster. I flew through the forest but I wasn't really seeing anything. I held her scent in my memory. I could still faintly taste it in the back of my tongue.

But I usually ran like this with my Bella holding tight to my back...

Just the thought of her made my insides ache. I had to stop running where I was because I felt sick. I didn't know vampires' stomachs could hurt, but mine did. I felt like I had to vomit, although that was not possible. I stood there in the woods, hugging my torso, and closed my eyes, letting myself imagine that the arms around me were Bella's instead of my own. The pain grew to be too much, it was overpowering. I reached out to grasp a tree for support and my hands clenched into fists as the pain threatened to crush me. Before I knew it, my fingers had pulverized the bark and it was about to fall over. I sank to the ground as the tree fell towards the earth and hugged my knees tightly to my chest. Dry sobs racked my frame as agony filled my body.

I don't know how long I sat there, but soon it was night. Although I could see excellently in the dark, I realized the irony. It was a new moon tonight, the darkest of all the nights. There was no moon to elucidate the surroundings. Everything was dark now that my Bella wasn't here to illuminate the darkness.

I finally picked myself up from the forest floor and began to trot to the temporary home we were using in Canada. We were to stay there for awhile until we found a more permanent settlement. My body was numb and I felt empty. I still felt sick.

_You selfish jackass! How could you leave her? How could you make us leave her?_

Alice. She was unhappy with me, but her grief bore nothing compared to mine. I walked into the house, not talking to anybody. I was still holding onto my Bella in my mind's eye.

"Edward!"

I paid her no attention, just wanting to be left alone. It has been hours since I left my Bella, but it has seemed like an eternity. I was already trying to convince myself to stay here and not run back to Forks. How would I make it for the rest of her life?

"Edward, how could you?" Alice demanded, anger clouding her thoughts.

"You know we had to," I said, my voice lifeless. "We keep endangering her precious life...I won't be the reason for any more of her suffering."

_Too late for that, you bastard!_

Finally, the vision she had seen slipped through. I saw my Bella curled up in a pile of leaves on the forest floor where I had left her. It was dark and she was shivering. She had her frail arms wrapped tightly around her knees, holding them to her chest. Tears were falling down her cheeks and she was moaning in agony. Was she hurt? Panic pulsed through me, nearly crushing me. My hands clenched into firsts as I awaited the end of the vision, but it suddenly went black.

"Alice!" I snarled, fear still clawing away at me. "What happened? Is she okay? I swear to God if you don't tell me..."

She glared at me and hissed, "That's where it stopped! I didn't get to see how it ended either. Something made it go black."

A growl rumbled in my chest as fear exploded through me. Why couldn't Alice see if my Bella was okay? What was blocking her vison?

"When did you have that vision?" I demanded.

She glared at me and said, "An hour or so ago. We were waiting for you to come home, and when you didn't, I tried looking for your future, but since you used to be with Bella all the time, hers popped up instead..."

She trailed off and her eyes grew blank. I watched intently to the scenes playing in her head. I saw my Bella laying on the couch in her living room, wet and muddy and pale. She was shaking and her eyes looked dull and haunted. The scene quickly switched to my Bella in her bed, asleep. Thank God. She was okay. I let out the breath I had been holding. But suddenly my insides felt ice cold as I saw my Bella curl in on herself as she screamed. The scream sent chills down my spine as I watched her writhe in agony and scrunch her eyes closed in an attempt to block out her nightmare. Charlie entered the room, frantic, and tried to rouse his daughter. Her eyes opened and I saw them swimming in tears of fear and hurt. Charlie hugged her to his chest as she cried out, "He's gone."

The vision ended and my agony began again. She was hurting because I left. My hands clenched into fists. My body was shaking as I saw my Bella cry. My head pounded as the echoes of her screams resounded in my ears. But this was her first night...she would get over me. She would realize that there was somebody else out there better for her. Somebody who wouldn't endanger her life by being near her. Somebody who wasn't a monster.

I looked at Alice, and her eyes were filled pain. It killed her to see Bella in agony, knowing that it was our fault.

_I am going to go and say a proper goodbye to her..._

"No you are not!" I snapped, glaring down at her diminutive form ferociously. Jasper was suddenly in front of me, snarling, crouched protectively in front of Alice. He shot me a warning glare, but I shook it off and spoke around him to my sister. "She needs a clean break. There can be no more interference from us. And don't look out for her future anymore...we've already caused too much damage."

Alice's eyes turned sharp in rage and she stepped around Jasper.

"I'm attuned to her...things will slip," she snarled, a growl forming in her chest. "Or is the true reason you don't want me to look for her because you can't stand to see what you've done? Bella loves you, no matter what happens as a result! I hope you're happy, because she definitely is not!"

As if to torture me again, she replayed the vision of my Bella screaming. I clenched my hands to my head and rocked, trying to tune her out. I couldn't take it.

"Please," I moaned to her. "Please stop!"

The vision stopped, but I could still see it in my head. Alice had never been sadistic with her powers, but I guess she had a good reason. I took her away from her best friend...her sister.

"Edward," she said softly. I looked up and she was standing in front of me. Her face was crumpled in pain as well. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "Edward, she won't let go of you."

"Yes she will," I said stubbornly. "She has to."

She sighed and said, "No she won't...I've seen her months from now."

Suddenly, in my head, I saw a thin, pale, dark-haired girl walking through the slush and snow towards Forks High School. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, presumably from the cold, and there were dark bags under her eyes. Her nose was red, and her eyes were a dull brown. I gasped in shock at how my Bella looked. It looked as if she hadn't had a good night's sleep in a long time.

The vision changed to night, where that sad girl - my beautiful Bella - lay in her bed. Snow was falling lightly outside, and she began to cry out once again. Her arms were wrapped around herself tightly again...she still couldn't be cold, could she? Charlie didn't enter her room this time...could he not hear her? Bella screamed for a few minutes until she quieted down to whimpers. Tears leaked out of her eyes and she curled into a ball, hugging herself as she shook.

I moaned as I desperately tried to block my sister's thoughts. They cut off and I could hear her mental anguish as she sobbed. She collapsed into Jasper's chest and he soothed her. Before carrying her away, he glared at me, but I didn't even attempt to hear his thoughts. I knew he was upset at me for making Alice hurt. I fell to the sofa and began to cry. If my body could produce tears, my face would be coated with them.

_Oh Edward. It was not right for us to leave._

I heard Esme's thoughts as she came to sit down next to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and rubbed my shoulder. Carlisle stood in front of us, and I saw what he was seeing. His wife was holding a haunted statue. The figure had a tangled disarray of bronze hair and vacant eyes. He wasn't moving. The statue looked nothing like me, but it was.

But I couldn't draw the proper emotions to care. I felt nothing but the agony that pierced my heart.

_I don't get why the hell he's moping. She was just a human. She wasn't even pretty. I told them all she would ruin everything. If it weren't for her, everything would be much better_

Anger coursed through me. No, it was more than anger. It was rage. It was loathing. It was fury. My vision turned red and the room seemed to shake. Air hissed up my throat and a furious growl erupted out of my mouth. I lunged at Rosalie, who stood by the door frame.

_No you don't, kid!_

Emmett, after seeing that my target was his mate, barreled into me, knocking me to the floor. I sprang to my feet and quickly escaped my brother's arms.

"Edward! Stop!"

Everybody was around me. Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper had all grabbed me and were forcing me away from my sister. Esme and Alice were standing in front of Rosalie, looking at me warily. Esme's eyes showed the hurt she was feeling.

"Edward, stop," Carlisle repeated.

I paid him no heed. I continued to snarl angrily at Rosalie for her shallow, disgraceful thoughts against my Bella.

"You don't hold even one millionth of the beauty she has!" I spat at her, my vision still red. "You compare one droplet in the ocean to her! She was the kindest, gentlest, most loving person I have ever met! She didn't ask for any of this to happen! So don't you tell me that this was her fault! Imagine if your very existance put Emmett at risk!"

A flash of something - remorse, maybe - passed through her golden eyes.

_No, my Rose would never think ill of Bella. She had always had a grudge for Bella, but I never thought she would sink to that._

I glared at Emmett as the thoughts crossed his head. He then saw my Bella compared to Rosalie and I heard his confusion. He didn't understand what I saw. But he didn't see my Bella the way I did. He didn't see how her eyes melted when she smiled. He didn't see the beautiful contrast of her dark skin against her pale skin. He didn't see how the blush in her cheeks lit up her entire face. They all saw nothing!

"Don't make comparisons," I snarled quietly to him. I could hear the apology in his thoughts.

I was still furious. I straightened my body out of the crouch I was in and ripped myself from the grasps of my brothers and father before I sprinted out of the door. I could hear the shocked thoughts coming from the house. Esme and Alice were both hurt. Rosalie was feeling guilty. Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett were understanding.

I tuned them out as I sprinted through the woods. They wouldn't come after me. I didn't want them to. I didn't want to be around anybody. No, I only wanted to be around one person. But that person - my dearest Bella - was untouchable. I could never go to her. I could never hold her.

More pain exploded through me. How was that possible? There must be a point where the pain can't get any worse. And if the pain continued, it would surely kill me. I couldn't exist without my Bella.

And I was a fool to try. Nothing would ever be right until I was with her again. But since I could never be with my sweet Bella again, nothing would ever be right again. And that thought sent another wave of agony through me as I curled up on the ground and sobbed tearless sobs.

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**A/N2:** I hope you liked it. Poor Edward. Let me know what you thought.


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